Necessary Endings: how to know when it’s time for change

I’d been feeling an urge to clear my plate for a while. Probably since late spring/early summer 2022. I’d made some half-hearted attempts to make some changes and figure out what’s next.

The Stock Investing/Trading Quest that I’d been on for the past 2 1/2 years had pivoted to a less active role. That was quite a rollercoaster. A lot of lessons learned that I’ll save for another post.

I was starting to look for the next quest but the message I kept hearing was to clear my plate.

“Life has seasons, stages, and phases. For there to be anything new, old things always have to end, and we have to let them go.” ~Dr. Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings

As I said, I made some attempts: my buddy John and I listed our duplex for sale, my brother Joe and I made plans to sell our final remaining barbershop, and I continued shifting my active stock holdings to more passive shares as opportunities arose.

Frankly, none of those attempts seemed to be working. Neither property sold and my investment portfolio fell to prepandemic levels.

2022 was a rough year.

Then it got worse.

In October, I found myself stepping into a very demanding role at Sound Wisdom. My services were needed to transition the company through a difficult time.

In my new day to day reality I began to clear things off my plate very quickly.

  • The first thing to go was a consulting gig I was doing to help a buddy in his business. Not sure I should have let that project go but I needed to free up my time and mental space quickly.
  • Next I closed down my barbershop hobby. It was hard to say goodbye to some of the clients that I’d come to enjoy spending time with, but barbering was taking a good bit of time and wasn’t a high value skill in the way I was using it.
  • I became much more aggressive in shifting my portfolio allocation to safer assets that take less time to research and stay on top of.
  • This year I resigned from my CFO role. Letting go of this title that I’ve held for so many years was harder than I expected. Psychologically, my identity was tied to being the money guy. But it was glaringly obvious that time was up there.
  • My buddy John and I cleaned up our duplex and sold it this fall.
  • My brother Joe and I still have one property left from our barber shop adventures. It is currently up for sale.  If you’re looking for a small town lifestyle right next to a river and walking trails, have I got a deal for you! =)

I don’t recommend having such a rough year en route to making the changes. Unfortunately, I do have a history of doing things the hard way. =/

I read a helpful book this fall called Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. It confirmed some decisions I had made and might have given me more confidence to make changes quicker had I read it earlier.

Dr. Cloud recommends the following:

“In business and in life, executing three types of necessary endings is what characterizes people who get results. (1) If an initiative is siphoning off resources that could go to something with more promise, it is pruned. (2) If an endeavor is sick and is not going to get well, it is pruned. (3) If it’s clear that something is already dead, it is pruned. This is the threefold formula for doing well in almost every arena of life.”

How about you? What changes are you undergoing or contemplating?

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